Something I am afraid to tell you is that body positivity is easier said than done. My relationship with my body is like any you would have with a friend or family member. We have good days and we have bad days. You see, we all have relationships with our bodies. Whether or not those are negative or positive is up to that person. That inner dialogue is what determines how well your relationship will be. The National Science Foundation reports that the average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and 80% of those are negative. Believe it or not, body positivity starts in the mind. Imagine the dialogue that you have with yourself was an actual out loud conversation like one you would have with a friend. What would you be saying? Are you complimenting or tearing down? Would you be talking to yourself kindly?

 Most recently I had a year of a horrible skin freakout (post coming soon), and let me say it was an act of will to purposefully speak love over myself instead of death and hate. I am a firm believer that what you reap you will sow. And whatever you sow in self-hatred you will reap in self-hatred. Whatever you sow in love you will reap in love. I had to relearn what it meant to love myself, because I am worthy of love. Just because I was having a skin crisis, it didn't mean that I had to punish myself and not let myself receive love. If I didn't love myself when I was unhappy with what I was looking at, then I wouldn't love myself when I was "perfect." You see, body positivity isn't about loving yourself during the good times, it's about loving yourself through all seasons. 

 So what can you do if you are going through a similar season like I was? First, choose love. It's much easier to point out what is wrong but make an active choice to speak love over yourself. Second, take a look at yourself in the mirror and the areas where you are quick to judge, instead start thanking and blessing them. It's a very "Marie Kondo" style approach, but I promise it's effective. Third, stop comparing! Comparison isn't going to help you. In fact, it will just take you down a long miserable road that's difficult to find your way back. Lastly, remember that body positivity is a journey. We grow, we change, and age and that's all apart of life. And learning to love yourself within that journey is a true treasure. 

Late last year I felt the Lord leading me to become what I like to call "heart healthy." It all started when I wrote a blog post, Understanding Pain. A few days after that post I listened to a podcast that I had in my phone for months, but for whatever reason, I decided to tackle it. I was left raw. I felt fragile as I slowly began to uncover matters of my heart that I had stuffed so far down in order to self preserve myself. In 3 John 1:2, it says, "Dear friend, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers." Our souls are made up of three parts: mind, will, and emotions. God wants us to be prosperous in all areas of life, but if we have a war internally in our souls we will produce it externally. I had two instances when I noticed my emotions get out of control and I felt prisoner to my emotions.

Being a mom isn't easy. I've said before that there are as many ugly, un-perfect moments as there are genuine, beautiful Pinterest ones. Once my daughter had a meltdown so bad in public that when I finally got home, I cried for two hours on the couch. Not exaggerating. TWO HOURS. I felt so defeated. What was even worse was how I let the circumstances dictate my emotions. When we finally got back to the car, I was completely reactionary in my discipline and the way I treated my daughter that it scared me. I didn't want her to learn anger from me and I realized I had to get it under control. When I started this journey I didn't realize I had suppressed emotions and it wasn't until I came into frustrating situation that it was triggered. The turmoil of my internal life was leaking out, and more than anything I didn't want it to rub off on my daughter. So I dove head first into experiencing complete freedom. I knew more than anything it wasn't necessarily an anger problem as it was I needed to experience God's patience and love in an area of my life. Anger is just a fruit of a deeper problem. I felt the Lord point at this area of my heart and invite me into a journey where we could walk this thing out. I am fully convinced that love is a "heal-all." I am daily inviting His transforming love to heal broken piece of my heart. I have decided that I will no longer let my emotions rule over me. My emotions may be lairs, but I am not. At least not anymore. 

I know that I can't be the only one who wants to see freedom in these areas. So I created a resource guide of things that have been apart of my journey to seeing wholeness in every area of my life. If you are interested in some further freedom when it comes to your own soul, take a look:

xx

Luna