thoughts on being a mother

by - Thursday, May 19, 2016

We just passed our first Mother's Day and it was so special. I thought I had an idea how Ryan-Kate would change our lives but there was just no way of knowing just how much. When I first got pregnant, to even now, I got bombarded with advice, whether welcomed or not. Most of it was helpful, but until you go through it, you jut have no way of knowing. I remember being in the hospital, after giving birth, and thinking "wow, what a holy moment." I was just in awe of everything that had happened, and that now, I was holding the baby girl that I had carried for 9 months!
After she was born, I would get tons of questions like, "How is being a mother? How is it? Don't you just love it." And don't get me wrong, I do love it; however, I was and am experiencing a of different number of different emotions. 
Love. Frustration. Exhaustion. Tired. Hungry. Enamored. Happiness. Overwhelmed. Depressed.
Motherhood is a whole whirlwind of emotions. It's 24-hour job that doesn't even come with a pay raise! The sleepless nights, the poo blowouts, the mental breakdowns- all of it - is such a humbling experience. Even with all the emotions that come with this new role, it is- most of all- a privilege. A privilege to be Ryan-Kate's mother. A privilege to carry her in my body. A privilege to birth her. A privilege to nurse her, love her, and watch her grow up. 
Since becoming a mother, I have a new found respect to moms. Being Ryan-Kate's mother will by far be the hardest and most rewarding role that I will ever have. 
Blouse: H&M // Pants: Madewell // Shoes: Target

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