Understanding Pain

by - Monday, October 23, 2017

I have been pondering the concept of community for a few months now. I firmly believe that it's important to run along side people who build you up and are in the same stage of life as you are currently. For years, growing up and even when I first moved to Colorado, I would constantly pray for friends. Great friends. Friends that were of quality and people I could do life with. As time went on, I did actually gain some authentic friendships. But as seasons changed, so did my community. In the past, I have taken people leaving so personally. I've been offended, felt betrayed, and even cried asking God why. Let me point out, this was my own process and they were not in the wrong, but for years these types of changes hurt me. It wasn't until a few months ago, when I was processing it all in my car (which means I was probably talking to myself like a mad woman) did I realize where it was all stemming from. I was believing a lie. I said it out loud in my car and it shocked and disgusted me all at once: I believed that if I was a better leader, my community would have stayed. How heavy is that? It is a lie filled with guilt and shame, but I felt so free that I could finally identify the root cause. 
My encouragement to you is to find the root cause for why it is that things hurt you. When our physical bodies are in pain, the pain is pointing to where the problem lies. My hand won't hurt if my I stubbed my toe. I don't think we should dwell in our pain, but perhaps we could use it to identity where we need to be mending. It is in our best interest to be whole, healthy people. So currently, I am working on dispelling the lies that try to live in my head. From now on, I won't let them, because I am no longer a victim to those lies. 




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