Self Love: My Journey With Body Positivity

by - Friday, February 22, 2019

Something I am afraid to tell you is that body positivity is easier said than done. My relationship with my body is like any you would have with a friend or family member. We have good days and we have bad days. You see, we all have relationships with our bodies. Whether or not those are negative or positive is up to that person. That inner dialogue is what determines how well your relationship will be. The National Science Foundation reports that the average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and 80% of those are negative. Believe it or not, body positivity starts in the mind. Imagine the dialogue that you have with yourself was an actual out loud conversation like one you would have with a friend. What would you be saying? Are you complimenting or tearing down? Would you be talking to yourself kindly?
  One thing I am working on is to love my body through the progress and the changes, the highs and the lows, but also the in-betweens. After I had my daughter my body changed so much.  Between carrying a baby for nine months and breastfeeding, I felt this pressure to be who I was before the baby. It meant my capacity, my size, and my responsibilities. What I realized was that before my daughter I had reached an acceptance for my body, but forgot to carry that over when the inevitable change happens. And it always happens. I learned that body positivity is a process that I needed to continually work on and it was never something where I just arrived. Because that change is inevitable, that meant that my acceptance needed to grow with my body. 
 Most recently I had a year of a horrible skin freakout (post coming soon), and let me say it was an act of will to purposefully speak love over myself instead of death and hate. I am a firm believer that what you reap you will sow. And whatever you sow in self-hatred you will reap in self-hatred. Whatever you sow in love you will reap in love. I had to relearn what it meant to love myself, because I am worthy of love. Just because I was having a skin crisis, it didn't mean that I had to punish myself and not let myself receive love. If I didn't love myself when I was unhappy with what I was looking at, then I wouldn't love myself when I was "perfect." You see, body positivity isn't about loving yourself during the good times, it's about loving yourself through all seasons. 
 So what can you do if you are going through a similar season like I was? First, choose love. It's much easier to point out what is wrong but make an active choice to speak love over yourself. Second, take a look at yourself in the mirror and the areas where you are quick to judge, instead start thanking and blessing them. It's a very "Marie Kondo" style approach, but I promise it's effective. Third, stop comparing! Comparison isn't going to help you. In fact, it will just take you down a long miserable road that's difficult to find your way back. Lastly, remember that body positivity is a journey. We grow, we change, and age and that's all apart of life. And learning to love yourself within that journey is a true treasure. 

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